Two years ago today I lost my mother. Ovarian cancer, its just evil.
I was there with her when she passed. When she took her last breath, I held her. Just as I had held her hand so many times before. Through chemo treatments, endless doctors visits. Hugs during really low times when she was just to tired to do anything.
Its evil, it hides and destroys. The silent killer.
Today I won't dwell on mom's death, I will remember her alive and well. Her easy laughter, and hugs just because. How she loved orange soda, and sherbet. Watching Touch by an Angel. Chocolate covered cherries, liquid center not cream..lol Just being around those that she loved, be it friend or family. Christmas traditions..the lights just right on the tree, or always burning the dinner rolls. How she loved my cooking..more because she didn't have to I think. Remembering her snuggled up in bed, grandkids beside her watching Spongebob for the millionth time. Or forgetting to take her glasses off before she fell asleep reading. She was a strong woman, from a strong line of women. I'm proud to say I'm one of them.
I love you mom. I miss and think of you everyday.
Wednesday, December 29, 2010
Tuesday, December 28, 2010
Being BRCA2 positive
I am a 41 yr old mother of 3 fantastic kids..My two girls 15 and 3, and my son who will soon be 8. These three small people are the deciding factors in my life.
Why did I decided to have the genetic testing for the BRCA mutation? I lost my mother 2 years ago to Ovarian cancer. She was diagnosed at the age of 59. Three short years later she died. My mother had ever symptom for Ovarian cancer. It took multiple test and doctors 6 months to realize what it was. By that time she was Stage 3C. I wonder still if they had caught it with the first symptom that manifested, would she still be here? She lived with me that last year and a half of her life. Her cancer had moved to her brain. We found it 4 months after her last chemo treatment. She under went radiation for the 3 brain tumors and another round of chemo. In the end my mother die cancer free, it was the side affects of destroying the cancer that killed her. We had talked about her getting the genetic test, but her insurance didn't cover it, and she couldn't afford it.
It took me a year to call my insurance to see if they covered it, and another 6 months to make the appointment. After speaking with a family member, and getting a family history, I pretty much knew the outcome of the test. I thought I had accepted it, but then I got the results, positive for BRCA2, 254delC mutation. What did I feel: shock, anger, sadness, but mostly guilt. I have 3 beautiful kids, the thought that I had passed the gene onto them breaks my heart. Did I cry, yes..did I want to scream hell yes! Now I suppose I'm in shock.
So decisions have to be made. I will be having a hysterectomy in the new year, and seeing a breast specialist in Jan. to discuss my options. So far I have had 3 Dr's mention mastectomy. The hysterectomy is a given. With Ovarian cancer being so insidious I'm not willing to take the chance. The mastectomy is a different story all together. I'm sure I'll have it, Breast cancer has hit almost every woman on my mothers side of the family. There has already been two cases of Pancreatic cancer. This mutation is very active. I can hope that I'm in that small percentage that carries the gene mutation but never gets cancer.
I remember once during one of my mother's chemo treatments, mentioning that now I know what I will have to go through when I find whatever cancer I'm carrying. My mother was not happy with that statement. She looked at me and said she prayed that I would never have to live through it myself. I have 3 reasons to reduce risk, and one prayer to fulfill. I just pray that God and mom give me the strength to make it through.
Why did I decided to have the genetic testing for the BRCA mutation? I lost my mother 2 years ago to Ovarian cancer. She was diagnosed at the age of 59. Three short years later she died. My mother had ever symptom for Ovarian cancer. It took multiple test and doctors 6 months to realize what it was. By that time she was Stage 3C. I wonder still if they had caught it with the first symptom that manifested, would she still be here? She lived with me that last year and a half of her life. Her cancer had moved to her brain. We found it 4 months after her last chemo treatment. She under went radiation for the 3 brain tumors and another round of chemo. In the end my mother die cancer free, it was the side affects of destroying the cancer that killed her. We had talked about her getting the genetic test, but her insurance didn't cover it, and she couldn't afford it.
It took me a year to call my insurance to see if they covered it, and another 6 months to make the appointment. After speaking with a family member, and getting a family history, I pretty much knew the outcome of the test. I thought I had accepted it, but then I got the results, positive for BRCA2, 254delC mutation. What did I feel: shock, anger, sadness, but mostly guilt. I have 3 beautiful kids, the thought that I had passed the gene onto them breaks my heart. Did I cry, yes..did I want to scream hell yes! Now I suppose I'm in shock.
So decisions have to be made. I will be having a hysterectomy in the new year, and seeing a breast specialist in Jan. to discuss my options. So far I have had 3 Dr's mention mastectomy. The hysterectomy is a given. With Ovarian cancer being so insidious I'm not willing to take the chance. The mastectomy is a different story all together. I'm sure I'll have it, Breast cancer has hit almost every woman on my mothers side of the family. There has already been two cases of Pancreatic cancer. This mutation is very active. I can hope that I'm in that small percentage that carries the gene mutation but never gets cancer.
I remember once during one of my mother's chemo treatments, mentioning that now I know what I will have to go through when I find whatever cancer I'm carrying. My mother was not happy with that statement. She looked at me and said she prayed that I would never have to live through it myself. I have 3 reasons to reduce risk, and one prayer to fulfill. I just pray that God and mom give me the strength to make it through.
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)